Army Bear
by GleeGeneration23
Summary: A surprise illness leads to a shocking diagnosis that will forever change and potentially shatter the Barton Clan beyond repair. Family/Hurt Comfort-story. Please Read and Review-CURRENTLY BEING EDITED
1. Chapter 1

**Hi so here is the first chapter of my Ross centred story!**

**This story is not medically accurate so I apologise for any inaccuracies, the updating is slow on this one i'm afraid. It deviates off canon slightly and so therefore the plot lines take a longer time to figure out. Also with the whole thing that is being back at school, and therefore all the other stories that I am currently bogged down with this one might have a few weeks in before updating. **

**However based on what I suspect to be a very interesting few months for the Barton clan I am open to writing any prompt you guys want involving this family. It can be pre show when they were kids, while they are on the show or even future things you wish would happen-if you have any ideas then please send them in!**

**By the way the name of this story becomes clearer in later chapters**

**Potential upsetting content-please be warned **

**Disclaimer-I own nothing in this story **

**Please read and review **

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><p><span>Army Bear<span>

A surprise illness leads to a shocking diagnosis that will forever change and potentially shatter the Barton Clan beyond repair.

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><p>Looking back he supposed that it wasn't exactly strange that he never saw it for what it was. He was Ross Barton after all. Pre planning was never his strong suit.<p>

And anyway after the year he had had it wasn't surprising that he had chalked the so called symptoms down to stress. His mother was back. His brother engaged. His girlfriend dead. Oh and there was that whole half-brother thing but other than that he had been fine for most of the year kind-of.

Until he wasn't.

So what if he woke up in the middle of the night covered in sweat and hot beyond belief? That was the continual nightmares surely? What did it matter if he bruised a lot more easily now than before-he worked in a garage covering from Dan (who was terminally useless), Aaron (who was off having an affair with someone…) and Cain (who was useless at the best of times) working around cars came with injuries everyone knew that.

He never really took it as anything more than what it was. Troublesome little pains in his body that wouldn't leave him alone, certainly he had had worse. The scar where the bullet had once been in his neck throbbed in approval at that thought, Ross had never even seen it worth mentioning let alone worth going to the doctors about it, he and the Doctor didn't get on at the best of times.

There was other stuff too. Stuff that he didn't really factor in as stress. He was losing weight without really trying (where the hell had that one been when he had been fifteen?) and he coughed a lot more than usual often he realised accompanied by a sense of breathlessness.

But then again he had never seen it as anything other than typical January colds.

Until that day in the garage. He had been covering another of Cain's shifts, Moira as usual demanding all the attention in the wake of the hurricane that was his mother's return. Debbie was pouting at something in the corner making the atmosphere just even more perfect to work in.

It was then when Ross started coughing-it didn't stop not even when he bent over double choking on air unable to breath, "Jesus Ross" Debbie said patting him on the back as he wheezed "What the hell?"

Only he didn't really hear her. He was too busy violently choking to death and then suddenly without warning such a harsh level of dizziness hit him that he fell against the back wall of the garage suddenly unable to see past the black spots pressing against his eyes.

"Jesus" came a voice that he recognised as Dan. Oh good more people were here to whiteness his utmost humiliation. "You ok mate?" he said bending down to his level "Deb's get him a glass of water will ya?" he gently easing him into some position which seemed easier to breathe. "There you go mate" he said gently patting him on the back. "Sean used to have panic attacks all the time trust me it's nothing to be ashamed off"

Ross blinked past the burning in his chest. "You should go and have it checked out" Debbie instructed her voice back to its professional but not even she could hide the undercurrent of concern floating around her voice "If dad wants you working here you better get yourself checked out" she paused at the look on Ross's face.

"If you don't want to go then I will march straight over to the pub and find your father and then we'll see what he has to say" Debbie warned.

Ross winced. Generally his father would march him over to the hospital himself if he knew he'd had some strange fainting fit. "Fine" he winced standing up and mock bowing in Debbie's general direction. "Tomorrow I will book and appointment you're Majesty"

Dan snorted but turned it into a deep look of sorrow as Debbie flashed her eyes on him.

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><p>Hospitals were by far the worst thing ever. Ross could remember them all the way back when he was three for some breathing problems. And even then crawled on his dad's lap the place had given him the shivers.<p>

Doctor McCall was a nice female doctor with curly brown hair dropping in loose curls tied in a loose ponytail. She smiled at him and Ross scowled in return. God he hated these places.

"So you've exhibited signs of breathlessness, night sweats, coughing, and weight loss" she said looking down at her chart and he nodded checking off all the symptoms in his head.

"Anything else?" she asked moving forwards to probe at the glands in his neck. Ross shrugged thinking back "Stress?" she asked and he nodded "Lack of sleep and food looking at you" she continued until she stopped at his neck prodding at some gland "Ok I wanna take a sample" she said smiling that same smile that all the God damn doctors smiled.

"What for?" he asked and she looked up "No reason other than I want to make sure of something" she said vaguely and Ross stared "Take the rest of the day off and get some sleep" she instructed firmly "Chances are this is all just stress"

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><p>He staggered home content to crash on the couch when Finn slammed in. Ross groaned. The one good thing about his mother crashing into his life again was Finn moving out of Moira's handling her with the same thinly veiled distaste that they all did nowadays. The downside meant that he was now living with him.<p>

It had been nearly four years since he had been living with his brother and Ross had already forgotten what it was like to live with someone who crashed around the place uncaring and unthinking of what time it was. Even Sarah and Jack at their worst had been relatively easy to ignore.

"You alright" he shouted and Ross rolled his eyes wincing as it seemed to only increase the pounding in his head. "I was" he muttered and Finn looked up uncorking something in the fridge. "Dad wants to know if were going over to Moira's tomorrow" he said icily "And?" he asked not really caring.

Finn shrugged "I won't go if you won't" he said bitterly and Ross snorted. "You sure you're alright?" Finn asked taking one look at his prone brother and Ross shook his head "Headache" he muttered wincing as he stood up to sling up to his room his back aching and the dizzy feeling returning.

Sleep that night was punctured only by him spending most of the early hours of the morning hunched over the sink breathing heavily his shirt sticking to his back feeling like he was on fire.

"You look like death" Pete said cheerfully at the Café that morning and Ross didn't even have the energy to scowl at him. Damn. "Thanks" he snapped back taking a long draft of coffee.

"Seriously mate" his older brother said eyeing him up critically "Go see someone- I don't think you should look that pale"

He was about to say something back when his phone rang. He scowled back at his brother before stomping out the café to answer it.

"Yes" he snapped.

"Mr Ross Barton?" came the reply and Ross hissed to worn and spent to deal with petty conversations. "Yes" he snapped back and the voice sighed as if it too was tired "This is Doctor Lahey calling from Hottan Hospital I was wondering if you could come in for a consultation"

"Where's Doctor McCall" he sighed again. "She made a referral to me" the Doctor said back snapping "When are you free?"

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><p>When he eventually got to hospital Ross had past the point of irritated. At the hospital two days in a row was not what he had in mind for his weekend. "What's wrong" he scowled slamming into the chair in the Doctor's office. Doctor Lahey was tall with curly blonde hair and in his opinion far too young to be a Doctor.<p>

Doctor Lahey flashed him a matching scowl eyeing up his irritation with irritation of his own. "Your scans and blood work came back positive for something called Hodgkin's Lymphoma" he stated without preamble but the mystery was lost on Ross who blinked looking confused.

"Mr Barton" Doctor Lahey said folding his hands onto his desk the very essence of professional control. "While your scans don't cement it I think it is highly likely you have this condition." He sighed again "It's a type of cancer" he said finally.

Ross gazed at him for several seconds that seemed to last for hours. If someone could ask him what he was thinking he honestly didn't know. For a few glorious seconds he was so stunned into silence that his whole mind became a clear void where every thought and process was stunned into hiding.

It took him several attempts to speak "C…Ca…Cancer" he finished finally and Doctor Lahey nodded "You fit the age group and you're showing the signs…I'd like you to have a chest x-ray and some more bloodwork to see how far it has spread and then I would like you to have a bone marrow biopsy"

He paused as if noting that all of this was going completely above Ross's head before softening his expression. "Ross" he said quietly and Ross dragged his head up "I can only imagine what is running through your head but we need to do this"

Ross nodded only half aware of what he was nodding to.

He allowed the Doctor to speak letting the words drift over him unaware of anything but the ice that was spreading through his veins. So he did what he always do when it felt like it was too much.

He closed his eyes and thought of Donna.

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><p><span><strong>So let me know what you thought<strong>

**Next Chapter-Ross goes in for a bone marrow biopsy and finds he might not be so alone as he first imagines**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, **

**So here is Chapter 2-this whole story should be about ten chapters long to let you all know**

**Thank you all so much for the response it encourages me to keep going. **

**Like I said before I am back at college so please bear with me-Updates may be slow as my work does come first...**

**Disclaimer-nothing is mine **

**I am not a medical expert so please forgive any inaccuracies **

**Please read and review **

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><p><span>Army Bear<span>

Chapter 2-

Ross goes in for a bone marrow biopsy and realises he might not be as alone as he thinks.

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><p>Three weeks. Jesus had it really been three weeks since he had been diagnosed? Ross chewed thoughtfully on his muffin not really tasting the damn thing.<p>

Bar the first night when he had drank himself to near oblivion he had remained fairly calm. It was easy to block out what the hell was happening and focus on something else. Like his bone marrow thing. This involved needles, which he didn't like-at all.

There was also the frightening factor of his family and Jesus Ross could just imagine their reactions. Pete and Finn would probably take turns to smother him, his mother…well she was nurse which meant every second of the day he would be watched and his dad…well that could either go two ways.

His father would either be utterly unbearable, constantly checking up on his being there despite it all…or he could live down to Ross's private fears and not give a shit.

He honestly didn't know which one was worst.

Now there was a name to it, to what the hell was wrong with it then he found himself more at ease. It was a complete reaction to what any normal person was but he found out that he didn't panic as much.

The truly terrible thought was, was that if something went wrong then he could find himself somewhere-somewhere with Donna.

That was enough to keep him calm.

However in Ross's defence he had forgotten that Pete was a nosy little shit that Finn lived with him and the two of them conspired to make his life miserable as much as they possibly could.

That and he forgot to shut his computer down.

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><p>Pete Barton knew that something was wrong with his little brother. Over the years and especially with Ross he had picked up an indomitable, unfaultable habit of picking things up with his little brother. Only this time was weird- because as far as he could tell no crime had shocked the small town of Emmerdale and Ross on the outside looked fine.<p>

He wondered if it was Donna. Ok so he hadn't been exceptionally nice about whatever she and Ross had had (because in all honesty from his perspective it had looked like his brother had fallen hard and fast with no thought to the consequences) but there had been something about seeing Ross utterly broken…after Lawrence's attack that had made Pete want to stick the older man in a coffin.

Bar of course he wasn't beaten to by his father who preferred the more legal route. Damn Moira.

His mother on the other hand…

Pete didn't particularly hate her…it was more of a bitter twisted shock. The images of Ross…it hadn't helped for brotherly relationships, both him and his father had gone out of their way to keep Ross protected something that hadn't exactly helped his reckless, impulsive little brother.

But she was getting to close, shattering what fragile remnants Pete had of a simpler time. And unless he spilled his guts (and judging by the mood both Finn and Ross were in with him, his father and Moira he didn't think they would believe it) and yeah he was worried about the both of them…even if she wasn't living with them when she could be bothered there was still the fact that Ross and Finn couldn't look after themselves if they tried.

Pete had seen each of their bedrooms growing up-it really was a miracle that either one of them was alive right about now.

But still when he let himself in, knowing his mother was at work, Ross down the pub and Finn up at the farm putting his disdain for Moira to one side to flirt with the new farm boy, he firmly told himself that it was for his brothers own good.

Ross's laptop was left open, his side of the table a mess and Pete wrinkled his nose as the light was blinding in the whole darkened room. Turning to flick the damn thing off least it lose electricity he paused when he saw what was on the screen.

And his blood turned to ice.

Scrawled across the tabs was button after button detailing Hodgkin's Lymphoma, stuff was typed in across those boxes that you fill out, dates for bone marrow biopsy and Pete sat down onto the chair with the sinking feeling that he knew exactly why these pages were up on Ross's computer.

Had he really dropped the ball, been consumed with the idea of his mother that he had failed to see that Ross had been sick? And not just sick but…terminal sick?

It didn't seem real; the concept of a world without Ross, there was hardly the world for the three of them as it was the concept that his undefeatable little brother was placed in a position where he would have to give up…and yet it made sense-Ross had been acting odd, more serene and calm lately, acting like a…well…normal person.

Sitting down on the couch he managed to make it to the sink before he threw up thankful there were no dishes there.

Now all he had to do was wait.

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><p>Ross had made it to the pub his head buzzing with questions. For the first time he had gone online to research his condition and he'd felt sick ever since. There was only one question he needed to ask and that was why he had this. He hoped the whole Glandular Fever thing was the answer to that only he couldn't remember.<p>

"Where's dad?" he asked Chas who blinked either surprised that he was asking or that he was being polite "Through the back" she said and Ross nodded ignoring her and stepping through.

His dad was sat at the table a mountain of papers next to him but he managed a grin when he saw him hiding his surprise well. "You want something?" he asked and Ross nodded slipping into the chair at the table.

"Did I ever have Glandular Fever as a kid?" he asked and his dad blinked. "Yeah" he said finally and Ross was torn between relief and panic for a brief second "You and Pete both did-Finn was fine, you must have been around seven and your brother was nine…why?"

"No reason" he lied through his teeth "Mum left some medical magazines round our and…" his dad seemed to take that at face value. "Sounds like her" he muttered watching him.

"Well I should be going" he said in the effort to escape his father's quizzical expression.

He couldn't face telling anyone yet.

However he hadn't factored in Pete.

It took a second to look from his laptop with its screen still bright to his brother who looked like he'd aged fifteen years in fifteen seconds for Ross to realise what was going on.

"Don't start" he snapped not in the mood for a fight and Pete swallowed "You invaded my privacy"

"Good thing I did to" his brother croaked out "Cause I don't think you would have told anyone would you?"

"It's been three weeks Pete give me some credit" he snapped back "This wasn't something I could drop over diner-this isn't like mum"

"You…you have cancer" his brother stated watching him with those wide desperate eyes and Ross nodded feeling old and tired and for the first time not like he was running on auto-piolet. He felt sick.

He felt sick.

"Yes" he said finally saying it for the first time "I have cancer" it was like a relief and a burden. Admittance that there was something wrong with him and the relief that he got from saying it out loud.

Pete made a small noise still watching him and Ross twisted his face into a grimace "I fucking hate needles"

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><p>"So Mr Barton" Doctor Lahey said waving around the rather large needle that they would be using and Ross felt sick.<p>

And it wasn't because he hadn't eaten anything.

"Once we get these results back then I think that we can proceed with how far the cancer has spread and then we can focus on treatment" he smiled and Ross grimaced back.

God he hated being this vulnerable.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door "Sorry" Pete said slipping in "I'm his older brother" he shook hands with Doctor Lahey ignoring Ross's irate look "Told you I was coming" he pointed out sliding open what looked like a paper bag "Look I even got you a present"

Ross stared "Is that a Krispy Kreme Single Glazed?" he asked naming the one forbidden treat when they had been kids and Pete grinned "Five more in the car" he said beaming.

"I told you" he whispered "You don't have to do this alone"

Ross nodded "It's a big needle" he said refusing to bite his nail in fear and Pete nodded bending down to his level. "That's ok" he said letting Ross in his weakest moment grasp his big brother's hand tightly.

"I'm here, I'm not gonna leave you"

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><p><span><strong>Let me know what you think<strong>

**I will update as soon as I can**

**Next Chapter-Ross finds out how far his cancer has spread and considers treatment, Finn finds out the truth and Paddy gets the news he is to emergency foster a young girl.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi sorry this is late, I kinda hit a brick wall and it took me some time but here is another chapter. **

**And finally the truth about Ross and Emma is out! (Watching Emmerdale at time of writing) **

**Nothing is medically accurate so I apologise for any inconsistences. **

**Charlotte Walker will also be explained in future chapters but trust me she is mega important to this story. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**And please read and review **

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><p><span>Army Bear<span>

Chapter 3-

In which Paddy receives the news that he is to foster a fourteen year old girl the likes Emmerdale has never seen before-and amidst confusion Finn finds out the extent of his brother's secret

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><p>It was nearly a week after Doctor Lahey had stuck a large and painful (and it really was fucking large) needle up his back when Ross got the phone call to go back in.<p>

That had been a week of Pete acting like he was about to drop dead any second.

"Could you relax" he hissed in the Pub the day before he was due to go back in "I am not dead yet" he had winced the bruising that had appeared on his hands the day before making it difficult for him to pick up his glass and Pete had noticed. Clearly.

"Don't bloody joke" Pete muttered managing a smile to their father who was watching with increasing incredulity that his eldest two could have a drink and not try to kill each other.

"And when the hell are you going to tell dad?"

Ross winced; he wasn't sure when or if he was ready for that bombshell to be dropped-he was sure that he wanted Finn to know first. Once Finn knew it would be a matter of seconds before his dad knew so with any luck he could shoot two birds with the same bullet.

"Can you stop?" he asked looking down at his fingers "There might not be a point in telling them" he paused remembering the feeling of horror and anger and the mind numbing sense of loss that whipped him out when it had come to Donna, it was only when faced with the same illness that he understood the need to protect the truth from everyone.

Both of them had hated being weak.

"They might not be able to do anything" he muttered voicing the nagging thought that had kept him awake.

What had frightened him the most was the fact that it might not be the worst thing in the world. Not to sound too philosophical but living was more exhausting than dying. And if that wasn't proof that he had been living with Finn for too long then he didn't know what was. "Don't" his brother cut across his face whitening a good three shades and Ross sighed.

"It's true" he said finally "We don't know how far this" he gestured to his body "Has spread" he paused leaning back against the chair "So stop acting like me not making it till I'm thirty isn't a possibility"

He stood up throat constricting "I'm gonna get something stronger" he cast a critical eye over his brother who was still ashen faced "And you something"

He paused when he got to the bar unable to control the nagging headache that was always forming in the back of his mind. When this was over-and if he lived his nerves were gonna be shot to shit and back.

"Everything all right between the two of you?" his dad asked conversationally eyebrow raising when he ordered two double whiskeys and Ross rolled his eyes.

"We have agreed to a temporary ceasefire" he muttered and his dad snorted "Which one of you is dying?" he joked missing Ross's flinch "The only time you ever do that is when someone is in the hospital" Ross sighed irritably "Nothing Dad" he said irritably "Even we need a break now and then"

It was on the tip of his tongue to spill the deepest darkest secrets, to confess that there was something running rampant around his body, consuming him… maybe even killing him.

But he couldn't, because admitting that was like admitting he was weak, it was like admitting that all he wanted to do was to let his dad hold him like he was five again and God knows he had tried too hard and too long to cover up that part of him, to bury that kid somewhere under the layers of dirt and oil and sarcasm and crime.

He wouldn't be weak.

The last time he had been weak, had allowed his guard to be that well crumbled…it had been the best and worst mistake of his life.

He awoke rudely by his morbid daydreams by Paddy who had all but thrown himself across the bar in an attempt to get Chas's attention. Ugh.

"You will never guess what the social have dropped on me?" he said before drowning a mouthful of beer "Some fourteen year old that needs emergency fostering" he paused "I didn't even know they had me still down for that"

Chas blinked before shaking her head "When does this fourteen year old arrive?"

"Tomorrow" Paddy said mournfully "I have to get the spare room in order-and apparently this one is a demon to control"

Ross nodded tuning out Paddy's incessant wining to focus on Finn who had just staggered in grinning. Which was odd-considering the bloody lip and bruised knuckles he was sporting.

"What the hell happened to you?" Ross asked more out of curiosity than anything else. "Something bizarrely wonderful" Finn said grinning and Ross caught his brothers eye who shrugged.

He only hoped Finn wasn't on drugs. He didn't think he could deal with anything else.

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><p>"Well the good news is that it's not in your bone marrow" Doctor Lahey said without waiting the next day. Ross nodded unsure of what that really meant but taking it without question. "Bad news Mr Barton, it seems to be in your liver and lungs and it's rapid"<p>

Ross did understand that

"It's spreading" he muttered feeling sick as Pete shifted next to him from the chair. "Yes" the Doctor paused "You need treatment" he said seriously and Ross nodded without thinking-it was strange how this doctor just seemed to understand how to speak to him, how to deal with him.

Get to the facts and get out.

"Chemo?" his brother asked as if sensing that Ross couldn't really open his mouth right now and Doctor Lahey nodded "It would be my recommendation-and the sooner the better in my opinion-it's Stage Three for now…"

And it was on those dire words that Ross felt his orderly world crumble once again.

"You good?" Pete asked him when they were back in the car and Ross squinted up into the low hanging clouds that were showing signs of rain. "No" he said finally "You?"

"No" Pete said quietly.

The two of them stayed in the car for a long time.

And neither of them commented on the fact that the others hands seemed to be trembling.

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><p>Two shots of whiskey later Ross had the beginnings of a plan.<p>

"Finn first" he said over the clanking of his teeth against the glass "Then Dad, then Mum, then you can tell whoever you want"

Pete nodded from where they were sat next to each other on the sofa, "He won't take it well" he commented quietly and Ross nodded leaning backwards. "No but God knows it will be easier than Dad"

"And then what? Chemo?"

Ross shrugged "After" he said non-committedly "I aint doing anything until everyone knows" he eyed Pete wearily taking in (the way he had when he was a kid and looking for weakness) the tiredness and helpless frustration that was rolling of his older brother in waves.

"Tell me what?" came a voice from behind them and the two of them turned to see Finn leaning against the door shaking off his coat. Ross frowned. His brother seemed to have another bruise forming this time under his jaw.

"Sit down" Pete said smiling gently before pouring three shots again. "Shit" Finn breathed sitting down and watching Ross intently "Are you up in court again?"

Ross snorted despite himself "No kid" he said finally "It's something much worse"

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><p>Paddy hadn't thought much of the kid when he had to pick her up. Charlotte Walker was a skinny fourteen year old with long untameable, roughly layered black hair and snapping brown eyes.<p>

"I live in a place called Emmerdale" he said throwing her bag in the boot and the girl paused watching him intently without even saying the bare minimal "I think you're going to like it"

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><p><span><strong>I don't know when I will update next to bear with me <strong>

**Next Chapter-Paddy's foster kid settles in, and Ross finally finds the balls to tell his father what's really going on**


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